


Black Blood

by Eyeofthehurricane



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Gen, I hope they all come across smarter and in less extremes, Natblida Conclave (The 100), Rewrite, The 100 (TV) Season 1, departure in season 1 from world building that was harmful, one shot that may turn into more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28645338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eyeofthehurricane/pseuds/Eyeofthehurricane
Summary: From her first night of Commander, Lexa has hope for the future. Her desire for change and her love for the people are deeply tried in the early years.Costia is an inspiration, Lexa wants to do what's best, the children from the sky will throw a wrench in everything.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	Black Blood

It starts as a whisper between lovers.

Costia has her hand tangled in Lexa’s hair, mere hours after Lexa wins her conclave. There is a new scar on the back of her neck, a symbol that she has conquered all her siblings, that her family is dead (all but Luna, who once saved her. Luna fled, as Lexa wished to. She spent her first hour as Commander saving Luna’s life: let her sister live at sea, as they always dreamed). 

There are new voices in her head, and all of the flame keeper’s teachings are gone as Lexa aches to reclaim herself amid so much noise. 

She can sense them all as clearly even as Costia pulls her in, wrapping her in an embrace.

Lexa realizes that she is shaking.

Costia is murmuring, pressing soft kisses to her brow, her eyelids, the tip of her nose. Lexa forces the other voices away to focus on her lover’s words. “It will be okay, niron.”

They both know it is a lie, but they pretend.

Pretend that Lexa being alive doesn’t mean they are now both in grave danger.

“ _What are the three pillars of the commander?_ ” Costia prompts gently. Lexa fights to find her voice. Her tongue is too heavy, her airway is closed from holding back tears. She knows Costia is trying to distract her. Lexa lets her.

“ _Wisdom. Strength. Compassion._ ” The three words are barely a whisper.

 **Wisdom**. To learn with the others, her brothers and sisters, what needed to be done to survive. To notice the way people watched them, how they judged them. As the previous commander lay dying, sepsis fully setting in, to prepare to sacrifice for all people.

 **Strength**. To do what needs to be done. She had watched as the final nightblood, Dommik, toppled backward and people cheered at the death. Dommik, who once had stolen sweet pies from the temple and shared them with Lexa as they both laughed, hiding from their masters.

 **Compassion**. To recognize that, after Luna dealt her final blow to her twin brother, she was too shattered to be a threat. To order forgiveness and to enforce survival.

Words and actions come together and, for the first time in a long time, Lexa falls apart. Costia tightens her hold and is there, trying to hold her shattered soul together through sheer force of will. She is there as Lexa gathers herself, helping to wipe her eyes dry. 

“ _I wish that it did not have to be this way. I do not like seeing this pain._ ” Costia’s eyes are soft as Lexa meets them sharply, an odd and rare golden-brown that disquiet most. Lexa is not disquieted by Costia’s gaze in this moment, but she is shocked. So, too, are the voices in her head, who yell all at once and twist Lexa’s reaction. She is unable to hold them in.

“ _You will not speak to us of things that you do not understand._ ”

Costia is looking at her in confusion, understandably taken aback. Lexa feels shame and is unsure if it is her own, or if the spirit compels her. She hastens to add her own words. 

“ _Forgive me._ ” She does not have to say anything else, she already sees the forgiveness in Costia’s face. Dark hair falls as Costia nods, and Lexa pushes it back. Her hand lingers on soft lips as they move again.

“ _You surely aren’t the only one to struggle with the conclave._ ” Lexa sighs, because the answer is already there. It is one reason why she is struggling to contain her grief - it is amplified by the scores of leaders before her. All had to slay their family to survive. All watched as they fell one by one, bleeding black. She shakes her head, no longer completely trusting that her voice is her own (as the years pass, the spirit settles within her and she does not have to worry over this). Costia understands and leans forward to give her a chaste kiss.

“ _We will think on this together._ ”

* * *

Two months later, when the first new nightblood is found - a toddling child named Rori who hardly has any words yet - Lexa catches Costia’s eyes across the room and she knows her lover is remembering. Costia turns from Lexa and glances between the nightblood and her weeping father, then sweeps from the room. Later that night, when Rori has been dressed in all black and settled in the same room Lexa grew up in, Lexa comes to bed to find Costia facing away from the door, curled in on herself.

The only thing she says as Lexa slides in behind her is, “ _there must be another way._ ”

* * *

Costia is the one who first hears Lexa’s idea for a coalition, who encourages Lexa to reach out to the warring clans and encourage peace.

“ _Is it not hard enough to live without worrying who is at your back?_ ” It is a valid point.

Heda Darien is particularly in favor of her coalition idea, as in life, he was the one who knew Primeheda Beka (her presence is rarely there, which Lexa finds strange), and knew her stories of war, and even himself had some memories of the before. Darien had been too busy saving his people to pursue peace. Heda Carina was the most opposed - she was a vicious woman who shut herself off emotionally after she murdered her class (the rest of whom were all under the age of eight), and whose thirst for greatness and desire for absolution had ultimately led to the current rivalry of the Trikru and Azgeda.

Luna invites her to visit for the first time after Lexa has secured six of the twelve clans under her banner, and if Lexa struggles briefly for breath when they are, at last, again face-to-face, no one dares to comment. Because Titus wishes it, she speaks with Luna about her military support if any of the remaining clans resist. Luna’s face immediately darkens and Lexa shrugs indifferently: she doesn’t bring it up again.

They both know that if the names had been drawn differently - if _Lexa_ had defeated Sol - that Luna may have won the conclave, and the world would be very different.

They are completely alone only once - Titus had assigned guards with very _specific_ instructions. In the ten minutes they steal away, Luna tells her that she is proud, and Lexa tells her everything about how Costia is now, including her idea for a new conclave. Luna only nods: her heart is still shattered and perhaps will never heal. When they part ways, that first time, Luna whispers words of hope in Lexa’s ear, and gives Lexa her love.

* * *

There are more Nightbloods in the tower now. The three oldest - Rori, Aliss, and Aden - start learning the staff, and Costia enjoys creating games for them, much to the disapproval of Titus. Lexa has grown adept at reading the tense set of his shoulders, and can interpret his every face twitch into criticism or disappointment. She prides herself in her observance, and is disappointed in herself for not noticing before now. He is a much different advisor than a teacher, and his bitterness is only growing with age.

Costia listens as Lexa rages of his expectations of children. In a rare moment of relinquishment, Lexa’s voice fades to include words from Adnock, Carina, and Noshi, all of whom had Titus as their flame keeper. Lexa feels her face twist into unfamiliar expressions and only maintains her own control by pacing back and forth.

Costia pulls her back, as she always does.

* * *

Anya only blinks when Lexa tells her of changing the conclave. She knows Lexa best: better than Titus: better, even, than Costia. Anya, who taught her more about duty than Titus, blinks and says “ _I knew my second would be great._ ”

Lexa knows that in the deepest parts of her soul, Anya dislikes violence. Her legend as a general has grown out of the fact that, though she is ruthless and efficient, sometimes the most effective leaders are the reluctant ones.

* * *

There are still no solutions and there are now nine nightblood in the tower. Lexa watches Costia’s eyes dim as she passes over Rori, who is the oldest but will clearly never be the fighter that Aliss or Aden will be. Rori, who makes up stories for her brothers and sisters, will die quickly.

“ _Can we not send her to Luna?_ ” Costia begs one night. Lexa has just calmed Titus’ fury at Rori’s weakness - she had picked a flower for the newest nightblood, Gin, who was still prone to tears of confusion and sadness (why was she in this place, without her family?). Gin had a smile for half a second before Titus swooped in.

Lexa does not answer her, but her hope is there: not yet.

* * *

All twelve clans have committed to her coalition when Lexa finally feels she can _breathe_. Primeheda Beka makes an appearance briefly, remarking on a job well done, when the Azgeda Haiplana finally bows before the coalition. Despite a scoff from Heda Carina, the other voices swell with pride.

She and Costia celebrate everything that has been accomplished, and Lexa allows herself to feel happy. She traces the swirling lines that twist along Costia’s ribs and revels in the freedom of peace, even if in the morning she has to integrate yet another ambassador into her council. As if eleven squabbling individuals wasn’t enough.

Lexa rises early, pressing a kiss to Costia’s collarbone. One golden eye opens, and Lexa smiles softly. “ _Now,_ ” she says, “ _now we can think more on the conclave._ ”

Costia’s whole body comes alive with warmth, and Lexa is once again stunned by her lover’s compassion.

“ _I will hold you to it,_ ” Costia rasps. Lexa leans down and whispers her promise.

It is the last vow she gives the woman she loves. 

* * *

Peace has such a high cost, Lexa discovers. She does not need to draw on Heda Carina’s rage (she is too full of her own), but she does need Heda Darien’s calm, strong influence. Her soul feels shattered for a long time, each piece belonging to a previous commander, every one of them warring for dominance. 

Lexa barely holds them all together. 

Barely even keeps her sense of self - it would be so easy to fall away.

She manages in the end, using glue from Titus’ teachings: it seems he’s been right all along - love _is_ weakness. She crafts her mask masterfully, with great care.

She spends less time with the nightbloods. Their faces blur together with those that have been lost before. After six months of silence, Anya shows up to take her on a hunting trip.

" _The ambassadors can do without you for one day._ "

One day turns into four, and Lexa is alarmed when, on her return, Aliss is the first to reach her of anyone she knows in Polis. Titus had given them all a talk about the conclave without her - a gross departure from tradition. Lexa offers empty words and remembers her promise. 

Anya catches her eye as she shushes the distraught girl, and Lexa remembers their conversation ages ago, that Anya _knows_ of Costia’s dream (of Lexa’s hope, too, and the wild wishing of the spirit).

Lexa pulls herself together in that moment, no longer a shell beneath a mask. Her soul is still shattered, but every moment spent with Aden or Gin or any of the others mends it that much more. She’s never forgotten her vow, but now starts to think of how she could implement solutions.

She makes Rori a second, tells Titus that she’ll be second to someone in Anya’s company. Anya instead takes Rori beyond his reach, and even though she will forever be at sea, Luna assures Lexa that she is happy and safe.

In the following year, Lexa discusses her plan to change (not end, because small steps were the best way to get results) the conclave with first one, then another clan ambassador. She knows the Trikru and the Flamekeeper will be the most difficult to convince.

When 100 children fall from the sky in a ball of fire, Lexa is brought one that ventured too close to the mountain. He was speared as a warning, but as soon as she sees him she knows why he was saved rather than left to die. 

Turns out, this boy from the sky bleeds black.


End file.
